I dream

I dream of Thrace, Smyrna and Corinth. What it would be like living in those ancient times. Untamed landscapes, green as far as the eye can see. Just running around, carefree and happy, the wind blowing my hair wild.


I dream of Darius, Xerxes and Alexander. How it would feel to live their lives. How can a single man rule the world? How great each of these people are...to achieve so much, at such a young age. Great leaders, amazing talents. What strengths and determination they must possess?


I dream of 19th century Vienna, Paris and Rome. The awe i would feel when i enter these cities for the first time. The center of civilization. The pinaccle of culture and asthetics.


I dream I am Pug meeting Kulgan that very first time. In Kulgan's tiny cabin, the only shelter from the beating rain. The smell of roasting pork fills the air. Smoke billows from the fireplace. Warmth and companionship. Delicious food. What more could want ask?


I dream of the Apostles of Christ, Paul, Peter and the others. How amazing that these people had the strength to travel the world and preach of Christ when confronted with opposition at every turn. Would you go to a foreign land, facing hardships of all sorts when you could be comfortable at home?


I dream of my mom's younger days. What a happy childhood she had, playing with all her cousins and friends. They had no computers, and they had fun! For sure, more fun than i have playing my computer games.


I dream I am at home now, eating that delicious fish curry with that new curry paste I just bought. Mmm it would taste so good, I am sure. Maybe not as good as Meecham's roast pork, but still good.


Sometimes I wonder about my life and the path I've chosen. It's as if I could not achieve anything. Nothing I would do would impact the world the way Alexander, the Apostles of Christ or countless other historical figures have done. Even Obama, the most powerful man alive cannot compare to any of these great men. Perhaps in the past, people single handedly built cities, conquered nations and ruled the world. But now people don't do things alone. Now, we have to work together, and the credit is split, no longer belonging to one man alone. Perhaps I want to be a great man someday, but I am growing old. If it is to be, it has to be now.

Hunter-Gatherers

In just several thousand years, the lives of humanity has changed. Once, life was simple. All we did was look for food, water and shelter. We were hunter-gatherers. Some were hunters, hunting wildlife for meat. Others were gatherers, gathering plants and fruit, gathering branches to light a fire. We lived in caves, or perhaps simple huts, easy to construct, easy to dismantle. From our day to day existence, there was little time for anything else. We needed to hunt/gather just to survive.



(Source:http://tracksuitceo.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/caveman.jpg?w=180&h=154)


But now times have changed. From the moment humans started farming, and food became an overabundance, everything changed. The extra time has allowed humans to do other things. Fight, think, and dream. The thinkers started to invent things like "The Wheel" and "Mathematics" and soon, civilizations were born. The fighters on the other hand, started fighting, killing, and warring. The dreamers started dreaming... most dreamers never got anything done, but a few dreamers accomplished the impossible. At the same time, religion was born, either by divine intervention or by human invention.

Besides farming, there are several other important traits/events that humans have which allowed us to become who we are today. Humans have always been community people. The exchange and sharing of ideas and resources, teamwork in hunting, building and all activites have greatly benefited humans. Social living has allowed humans to fluorish and accomplish all sorts of great feats. Human jealousy, rivalry and warring, also a form of social interaction has spurred on human advancement as one tries to outdo the other. Besides that, humans have the advantage of a well developed brain. The human brain is special. It allows us to "think" and do things which no other animal has done. Some claim it is the spirit/soul that humans have, which separates us from animals. Is it true? That is up to you to decide.

And here we are in the 21st century. After perhaps 5000-6000 years when we first started farming, we are now at a difficult time. Humanity has reached a critical period. The challenges of the 21st century are greater then ever because humans have become so powerful and technologically advanced, become so twisted and evil, become so vile and demented, become so lazy and lavish, become so carefree and careless, become so cruel and uncaring, become so individualistic and selfish, and becoming so godless and godlike. We are in danger of losing our humanity, destroying ourselves, or worst of all, extinguishing life on our planet.

Dreamz

Since I've started going back to Uni, sometimes I no longer get 8 hours of sleep at night. Sometimes I get 6 to 7 hours if I've to go to Uni eaerly in the morning. Now this is not necesarily a bad thing. Sometimes I feel sleepy throughout the day, and when I come home in the early afternoon, I can actually fall asleep! I found this is a great time to dream... :)

It seems that I can dream during these afternoon naps, and when I awake, I will be in a semi-conscious state, and if I fall back to sleep, I'll still be semi conscious in the dream! It's semi-lucid dreaming I guess. The best part is the dream within a dream within a dream type of dream. That's because you're somewhat aware you're dreaming in your dream, so it's somewhat lucid. It happened today, and I hope it happens again!

The worst is when you can't awake from a dream...some dreams/nightmares are hard to escape. If you die in a dream, do you die in real life???

I really wish

I really wish I could be on a cruise ship with Lady Gaga again, but it's been a long time since I had any dreams, lucid or otherwise... :(

RPG Me

Primary attributes:
Strength: 9
Constitution: 9
Dexterity: 12
Intelligence: 14
Wisdom: 12
Charisma: 10

Secondary attributes:
Willpower: 14
Perception: 10
Luck: 18

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

If I were a character in an RPG, I think those stats would suit me. I would make a lousy character of course!! With those stats, I probably would do best as a wizard. But I'd need to sharpen my intel to be decent at least...

Note: 12 is the average score for each attribute

It just means that we... had a moment. The moment's over.

I like this quote from Maggie Dekker.

Simple and sweet. Perhaps the moment would return, perhaps not. But what's important is we had a moment, and now the moment is over.

2 songs

This one is from the Book of Eli:



And this one is from Invictus:

Struggling with my mortality

This morning while I was driving, on the radio, there was an advert urging us to pledge ourselves as organ donors. As an organ donor, we could possibly save lives. Why not become one? For me, I feel as if I will never die. Some how, I feel like I will live till an old man or till the end of the world. I don't feel that i could die in a car accident or from some disease, although there is a really high chance of me dying. I guess I am struggling with my own mortality. I'm not willing to "admit" that there is a chance that I may die tomorrow or the day after. Instead, I go on thinking that I have many days left to live, not realising that tomorrow or the next day may very well be my last. Who knows? Only God knows. Would God give me a warning? Who knows? If he did, would I heed his warning? Probably not.

Anyway, I should stop living my life as if I have so long more to live. After all, I am only mortal. Come, together lets make the best of our remaining days.

On a cruise ship with Lady Gaga

I woke up this morning with a fresh dream I just had.

I was at a Lady Gaga concert on a cruise ship. I was very close to the front, on the right side of the stage. Unfortunately, the crowd wasn't very good and didn't sing along or seem to enjoy her singing, so after a while she asked the audience to come on stage to sing along. I was totally wanting to, then when she looked at me and called me, I totally chickened out! So anyway, she got pissed and walked off, leaving us on the cruise ship with no Lady Gaga concert. Damn! The song Bad Romance was playing in my head when I woke up although I can't really recall what song she wanted me to sing. Haha, I just remembered that at that time I had a little stack of A4 papers with the lyrics on them and I was reading it at the concert..haha.

Another year

This year Chinese New Year wasn't as tiring as usual. That's because I started preparing for it early, starting to clear the house several days before New Year's Eve and completing it before New Year's Day. Maybe it was the cool weather as well; it rained almost everyday and so I didn't sweat at all while visiting...And I turned in be4 2:30 every night, and woke up late (because of the rain which hampered early visiting) so I was well rested. :)

The only thing that made mum and I extra busy was cooking the food to serve people (and washing the plates and glasses later). Overall, it wasn't too hectic, but I didn't have much time to go online at all. So i was truly in "CNY" mood.

Compared to last year, this year, many people didn't give me ang pow... don't know why. I still look young wat...and still not working.

Went out with two batches of friends this year. My old Sec School mates and my Uni friends. I'm surprised that I actually felt comfortable with my sec school mates; maybe I even talked more to them then I did during school time (since I was VERY quiet then). Visiting with friends this year however, felt quite tiring... and sometimes we would just sit there and wait for time to pass, enjoying the aircon...haha. Not to say that it was boring, but I guess the word "leisurely" describes it.

In all, it was a nice new year. Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

This is for you

This is for you Olee.

You got me distressed. Last night when I saw your post, I certainly thought you were meaning me. Not that I admit that I'm "smart", but I know that that's what you think of me. It's got me bothered because mostly it's true.

I've been avoiding MSN for some reasons. I used to be addicted to it, and spent lots of time chatting with friends. But now, I think I've changed. Playing facebook games in my thing. It's easier, with no responsibility required. You see, chatting sometimes is rather tedious. First, you gotta be online all the time. You can't just leave the computer and say "BRB" and go and do your thing, and come back later expecting your friend still to be there. Yeah, chatting is tedious. Then you get disturbed by people you don't really want to talk to and you have this really draggy conversation that you don't really want to have. Then there's other times that you want to talk to someone, but then you feel like they don't really want to talk to you. The opposite of what I just said. Yeah, probably it's just me that feels this way. Wayyy to complicated. I do feel guilty about "abandoning" some of the friends (real life friends) I used to chat with. But I don't like going "Invisible" just to chat with them. It makes me feel so "selective" which is not a nice feeling. Wayyy to complicated right? And the worst is that sometimes you are expected to chat, even when there is nothing to chat about! I really don't like having to force it...haha...maybe that's why I disappeared from MSN in the first place. The many months of my long holidays have been uneventful and nothing has ever happened, so what's there to chat about?? Anyway, it led to a chain cyle...with logging in getting more and more infrequent. Hehe, if anyone bothered to read till here, congrats. You're really patient!

This is for me too, not just you. I have been wondering whether I should go back to MSN...I know some of my friends miss me. I kinda miss them too. But I'm not gonna think about it now. As I said, chatting is added responsibility! At least for me, if not for you too.

Goodnight. Have a nice day. Hehe... :)

A game is exactly what it is.

A game is exactly what it is. A game, is just a game. I must not get to stressed out over a game. I must not worry about a game. i shouldn't care if i win or lose a game. It shouldn't bother me even if I get wiped out. I will not care...as long as I have done my duty and supported my allies. It doesn't mattter if I am wiped out, after all, this is just a game. Remember that. It doesn't matter. So don't waste too much time on a game. Just play to have fun. Being too active has its drawbacks.

Sometimes you gotta be selfish to win a game: betray your neighbours, abandon your friends when they need help. But hey, this is what happens in real life too. I guess games are part of real life, since there are REAL people behind that screen. The relationships we build are REAL. It's like survivor. It IS a game. You have to outwit, outplay and outlast. But at the same time, you're playing against real people, not a computer. So how would you play the game? If I joined survivor, I guess I would be the loyal, hardworking, but weak type...but totally paranoid too. haha.

Stuff to remember...

A reducing sugar occurs when its anomeric carbon (the carbon which is linked to two oxygen atoms) is in the free form. (Check pic of sucrose, glucose, fructose, maltose)

To get sequence SIMILARITY and identity, use Blast2seq... It's like Blast, except you click "align two or more sequences" and enter the sequences... :)

It kinda sux

It kinda sux that I don't have real talent for anything, especially for things that I like to do.

I like to sing, I think I've got musical talent, but then my voice isn't the best. It's a bit high and lacks "body", it doesn't have a nice tone, and sometimes (most times) it sounds nasally. And I can't sustain singing for long, especially high notes... My voice cracks too easily, and the high notes are hard to do. And I don't have stamina, or a proper breathing technique. Won't it be great if I can sing like David Archuleta? Adam Lambert? Miley Cyrus? Beyonce? :) For musical instruments, I can't play anything except a recorder, but I can't sing and play the recorder at the same time! So that sux.

I also like to play games...online games or pc games. But I don't have any talent and I'm not very good at it. I used to play these short flash games on Neopets, but I always struggled to get a good score. It seemed so unfair that some of these people could have many many trophies for high scores in almost EVERY game!! WTF? I can't even get a high-score trophy in a single game! Then there's other games like Utopia or Realms of Empires (Facebook game) where some people can do so much with the limited resources they have-unlike me...I'm only average. DOTA?? Don't even mention it. Noobish I am...

Writing. Some people have the talent to write, I have barely any. I can't write in any distinctive way, I lack "flair" and don't seem to have any inborn talent with words. I can't write anything that is "engaging" or which can "immerse" you in my world. I'm not even witty, nor do I have wicked humour. I have difficulty describing scenes, and what I like most are simply...dialogue! Haha. But a story can't ONLY have dialogue now can it?

Gardening? I just started, but it seems my plants are having a slow start... no green fingers here. All I have are blistered hands :(

What else do I like to do. Watch tv! I don't need any talent for that. Haha. It doesn't take much to slouch on a chair and stare at a box. Switching chanels during adverts. I'm pretty good at guessing when advertisements end and so that's pretty good I guess. Haha? Time to watch Merlin now, my favourite show nowadays, because TV basically sux. There's not much to watch anymore nowadays.

Swimming? My lap time is double that of a pro-swimmer and I don't have much stamina, nor do I have strength to sprint.

Cooking? Nothing wonderful. Edible I guess... nice maybe... but nothing that makes you go "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"...

Studying? I hated doing it. I was the highest achiever in my uni batch, but really, if you compare me with students of other universities, I'd just turn out average or maybe above average...

So now you know I'm only average/above average at what I do! And suck at other things. I do wish I had talent to do something amazingly well... but oh well...too bad I guess. Ok, time to watch Merlin!

Morning Star

A morning star is a weapon. It's a nasty ball of spikes fastened to a chain. To use it, you swing it at your enemy, but be careful not to hit yourself with it. Or you may lose more than an eye. Maybe a ball too, if you're lucky.

A morning star is a star which can be seen in the early hours of morning. It must be a very bright star since the sky isn't that dark yet. Sometimes, bright planets can be mistaken as stars, but planets do not flicker, only stars do.

Sometimes when I look at the moon and stars, I wonder. Does all that truly exist? Is space and the universe real? Or are we just taught to believe it? maybe we are living in a box, and fed lies. Something like in "The Matrix" or Jim Carey's "The Truman Show". Maybe I am Truman. Maybe people are watching me. Haha. Maybe this is my first time communicating with my audience out there? Reaching out to you? Haha. Who knows. I mean, really. Have you ever been to outer space? It takes a lot of faith to believe in something and yet we easily believe in space and the universe. For all you know, it could just be a high sky dome!!! No such thing as outer space okay?

Then what about God? Why is it so hard to believe in God when all evidence is around us? Who knows what God is. We probably will never understand. When you look into the night sky, and all you see is black with some white flickering lights, you believe that space and the universe is out there. Yet, when you look at everything else small and big in the whole world, a single cell organism (how complicated it truly is), a hydrogen atom (how little we understand till now), or even just understanding ourselves, it's hard to believe in God. I mean everything here could be evidence of the existence of God right? My question is "Why is it hard to believe?".

Sound a like songs

Take a listen to "The Cure" by Jordin Sparks... The begining is almost like Better in Time by Leona Lewis!! They are almost as similar as the controversial couple: Kelly Clarkson/Beyonce's Already Gone/Halo. Haha...and "The Cure" has parts of "halo" too. I can see your halo...halo...halo...

And One Republic's new song "All the right moves" has a remarkably similar one line to T.a.t.u's "Not gonna get us"...Compare the two lines "All the right things in all the right places" from One Republic to "They're not gonna get us" from T.a.t.u. I think they sound quite a like...

Damn...and I just realised the first four piano notes opening "All the right moves" sounds just like the first four notes opening "21 Guns" by greenday.

But I don't really mind..just thought to point it out! :)

Of course everyone (Indonesian music lovers) also knows that Sampson's Kenangan Terindah sounds like the opening tune from Anggun's Mimpi.

I think I've blogged this be4, Bunga Cinta Lestari's Ingkar sounds like the opening theme from First Wave (Tv series).

We the King's "Heaven can wait" sounds alot like Kelly Clarkson's "My life would suck without you"...don't you agree?

John Mayer's Hearbrake warfare and Kelly Clarkson's sober. The phrase "If you want, more love.. why don't you say so" sounds like a phrase from Sober...

Any others you know of?

Nice

In our rhythm of earthly life we tire of light.

We are glad when the day ends, when the play ends; and ecstasy is too much pain.

We are children quickly tired: Children who are up in the night and fall asleep as the rocket is fired; and the day is long for work or play.

We tire of distraction or concentration, we sleep and are glad to sleep.

Controlled by the rhythm of blood and the day and the night and the seasons.

And we must extinguish the candle, put out the light and relight it;

Forever must quench, forever relight the flame


Thomas Stearns Eliot


from Chorus from "The Rock", X

oh oh

I should be full of excitement, full of energy, full of confidence, ready to continue my Masters tomorrow, as I drive back to uni, walk through the familiar hallways, back to my lecturer's room, who's always nice, back to the lab where so much happened last year, except that this time, it's gonna be empty, most of my friends are gone, the lab instead will be filled with a bunch of new noisy students, rushing for machines, showing their selfish side (I hope not), and my lecturer probably has this whole new expectation from me now that I'm no more an undergrad, a research which I once considered easy, now being more difficult, having to look at my seniors now as friends and equals, having to treat them as such, not having my usual lunch company/companion, no more lab partner, no more gaming sessions at lab, the returning feeling of nervousness when I've to meet people, and basically, more negativity which is a total turn around considering I did have a great time last year, and everyone says 2010 is gonna be even better than 2009.

So anyway, I need to become fearless this year. Driven, focussed, fearless, hardworking, friendly, less arrogant, less shy, more humble, more intelligent, more professional, more grown up. But no1 is Fearless. Fear is the mind killer. Remember that. There is nothing to fear. Not even death, failure, people, embarassment, nothing. Nothing to fear as long as I've tried my best.

Goodnight, dear readers.

Feeling light

Hahahaha...

I guess it's good to know how drunk people feel. But now I still can think logically... only that I feel a bit tipsy. Still a long way from real drunkness... just a little light and tipsi.?? I can type at lightning speed. In fact, even faster than normal. Maybe because it's because of the limitation of thought? Just the reflexes typing here? haha... this is promising. Psychologists should research this right now!!

Haha..tiipsi...typsi? how should it be spelled??

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Haha

It's new year's day. I am drunk?? Maybe a little. I just had a little vomit. A tiny little one into the toilet bowl. After the 1 single vomit (meaning a single regurgitation), I went out of the toilet, and I found a little bit of saliva on the door of the toilet. Anyway, I'm still mostly sober I suppose. Since I can type this. Haha, anyway, it feels a little bit different with alcohol in the system. I guess I feel a little light, but besides that, I can still think logically and type properly. Not having trouble at all, in fact i am typing at light speed right now. Maybe after the vomit, I am getting better. Haha. Anyway, nothing much lah...this is it. Bye...

Happy New Year!!!