Tomorrow I am going back to university to do labwork after taking more than a week off. I kind off dread going back to the lab, which is quite a surprise. I thought I would LOVE lab work, but now I don't. And it's because things are not going as planned. Yes, when I face something difficult, I am quick to dislike (abandon) it. Just like exercise, or maintaining proper posture. Human nature I guess.
Anyway, my project involves isolating a gene coding for an enzyme from a bacteria. But the bacteria i was supposed to work with has been killed (not by me). And I am given a rather poor substitute that probably does *not* have the gene I want. Yeah, I am complaining. Probably I will have to isolate my own bacteria AND the gene after that... but that means that I have to do lots more research, and I *am* a lazy person.
So I will go and "warm-up" tomorrow. I sometimes need a little warm-up period so it's not so overwhelming. I kinda dread going back to that lab... because everyone else seems to be so "focused", knowing exactly what to do. But here i am, not sure of what to do at every stage. And I kind of dread asking for help even when I need it. A mixture of pride and shyness and social anxiety perhaps. It's not that I don't want to change... Yep, it sux.
So, December 9th. Going back to lab. 825 am leaving my house. What am I going to do tomorrow? Prepare some broth, inoculate. Clear up my old bacteria broth in the fridge. Gotta return overdue library books too.
Okay, bye...goodnight :)